80 - A Zombie Wandering Through the First Days of January
It’s been a long time since my last post Not because anything has changed. Not because I’ve healed, or found peace, or stumbled into some revelation worth writing about. I’ve simply been running on autopilot moving through days without touching them, letting time carry me like a river I’m too tired to swim in. The new year began, but I didn’t. I entered it hollow, untouched by the idea of renewal, as empty as the space between one breath and the next. A body moving through the world, a mind drifting somewhere far behind. I’ve felt like a zombie wandering an arid landscape, dragging my feet across dry ground, searching for something — anything — to fill the silence inside me. But everything I reach for turns to dust. Nothing satisfies. Nothing anchors. I wander without direction, chasing shadows of things that don’t exist, losing track of time, losing track of purpose, losing track of myself. That’s what these weeks have been: a blur of days slipping past me while I sit still, watc...