90 - The Long, Heavy Search for Something to Feel
I’m here again. In that quiet place inside my head where everything echoes a bit too loudly. Talking to myself, trying to understand this emptiness that never really leaves. I’ve spent years looking inward, digging around in my own mind, learning things about myself Things that maybe I didn’t even want to know. And sometimes I think that’s the problem I understand too much. I see the patterns, the reasons, the history behind every feeling, and somehow that makes it harder to get out of this place, not easier. There are days I wish I didn’t understand any of it. That I could just live like everyone else seems to feeling something small and just… enjoy it, without immediately analysing why it happened or why it didn’t last or what it means about the bigger picture. But I know what I’m missing. I know what I’m trying to find. So everything I do feels intentional, like I’m searching for something specific instead of stumbling into life the way other...