38 - The Zoo of Comparison

By chance, 

I ran into someone I used to know. 

Once, I called them a friend. 

But time has a way of revealing what was real and what was just proximity.

We used to laugh. 

Talk for hours. 

But it was circumstantial

a friendship born of shared space, 

not shared soul.

When we met again, 

we did the usual social dance. 

Awkward smiles, 

half-hearted nostalgia, 

a few stories from the past, 

A casual update of our present,

and a polite goodbye.

Sometimes, 

these encounters are warm. 

Sometimes, 

they sting. 

Because they remind us of where we were

and where we are now.

Back then, 

we were equals. 

Peers. 

Maybe I was even ahead. 

But now, 

they’ve moved on. 

A family. 

A career. 

A life that looks full.

And me,

I’m still here. 

Still trying. 

Still stuck.

It feels like they’re walking forward, 

while I’m on a treadmill in purgatory.

Moving, 

but not going anywhere. 

Repeating days, 

repeating doubts. 

Losing the race of life without ever leaving the starting line.

And maybe

Just maybe 

they look at me and think, 

“Wow, he’s doing what he loves. Smiling. Free. Not stuck in an office getting yelled at.” 

Maybe they think I’m the one who made it.

But everyone compares on the surface level. 

maybe they’re wearing a masks too.

No one sees the weight beneath the smile.

I know it’s not fair to think this way.

Everyone has their own path, 

their own struggles. 

But comparison is instinct. 

We are social creatures, 

trapped in this zoo called society

measuring ourselves against each other

while pretending not to care.

Maybe their lives aren’t as perfect as they seem. 

But even so, 

the silence between us felt louder than the laughter we once shared.