36 - The Space Between Wanting and Doing

When we’re depressed, 

we often slip into a state that others mistake for laziness. 

Or procrastination. 

But it’s not that simple.

When we’re low, 

we’re not just tired,

we’re hollow. 

Our energy fades. 

Self-worth crumbles. 

Even the smallest task feels insurmountable. 

Life itself becomes a weight. 

And sometimes, 

we don’t want to be here at all.

We get trapped in a cycle. 

Try to move forward, 

and life pulls us back. 

Try to breathe, 

and the air thickens. 

Try to hope, 

and fear whispers, What if it all falls apart again?

It’s not laziness that holds us back. 

It’s fear. 

It’s exhaustion. 

It’s the ache of disappointment before it even arrives.

And when others misjudge us,

when they call us lazy, unmotivated, or weak,

it adds another layer of shame. 

Another chain. 

Another reason to stay down.

Breaking that cycle takes everything.

Sometimes, it costs a piece of our soul. 

And we leave it behind, 

hoping one day we’ll be strong enough to go back and pick it up.

This isn’t contemplation. 

It isn’t a lack of will. 

It’s the weight of circumstance. 

The quiet struggle of surviving when everything inside says 

don’t bother