The Words That Cut Through the Mask

We all have feelings. 

Sometimes we feel joy and share our happiness with those around us.

Sometimes we’re angry and lash out to those we care about.

And sometimes we feel sad, shed a tear, and talk to someone who’ll listen.

All normal. 

All human. 

All the different emotions that customers bring into my shop.

Over the years, 

I’ve learned to wear the mask. 

To respond accordingly. 

To play the part.

But each of those feelings,

When I'm down,

They still get to me.

When a customer shares a happy moment,

I smile. 

I laugh. 

Not out of jealousy, 

but because I can barely relate. 

Sometimes it feels like I’ve forgotten what that kind of joy feels like.

When someone’s upset and says something like, 

“It’s easy for you, you don’t have anything to worry about,”

I nod. 

I stay quiet. 

They don’t know what I carry.

Or when someone pours their heart out and says,

“I wish I were happy like you.”

Not knowing what lies beneath this mask.

Not knowing that my life is far from perfect. 

But I’m to blame,

I made the mask too convincing.

Sometimes when I hear those kinds of comments, 

they don’t slip through the cracks. 

They pierce. 

Sharp. 

Precise. 

Like blades through fabric.

From the outside, 

I look nonchalant. 

Unbothered. 

But behind the mask, 

those words,

They draw blood.