She Shouldn’t Be in the Shadows

For the past month, 

a young girl has been visiting my café.

Once a week. 

Always in the same clothes. 

Hair unkept. 

Eyes tired.

She asks for a large latte. 

Sometimes she asks if she can pay in a few days. 

And she always does 

not in a few days, but eventually. 

Quietly. 

With a half a smile on her lips 

and shame in her eyes.

It hurts to see it.

The first few times, 

I took the money with guilt. 

I didn’t want her to feel like she was begging. 

Didn’t want her to feel small.

I didn't want to feel ashamed in front of other customers.

One day, while worried she’d take offence and disappear, 

I gave her everything I had in my wallet. 

It wasn’t much. I’m not financially in the best place myself. 

She looked at me, shocked, trembling.

As if I had pulled a knife on her

And with hesitation she took the money.

And left.

Her shock broke me. 

Is kindness so rare that it feels unnatural?

Did nobody close to her try to help her when this all started.

Or was she so ashamed, hurt that she couldn't reach out to anybody.

Or she didn't have anybody at all. 

Society doesn’t always fail the broken.

Sometimes it just finds them too unpleasant to acknowledge. 

And society turns the blind eye.

And leave them in the cold.

In the shadows 

I should have known. 

I’ve felt that coldness in the past too.

Later, she came back and opened up. 

Told me she’d been homeless for the past couple of months. 

Joked that it’s almost like camping. 

“Not as bad as it sounds” 

with that same half smile,

But her eyes tired and withdrawn.

She shouldn’t be here. 

Not like this. 

So young. 

With a future ahead of her. 

She shouldn’t be in the shadows.

But there’s only so much I can do.

So I do the only thing I can do,

I give her a cup of coffee every time she visits. 

Make her feel seen.

And give her a small refuge. 

A moment of calm. 

A space without judgment.

I wish I were strong enough to help her more.

But for now, 

All I can offer is warmth in a cup. 

And hope that it reaches her 

where words cannot.